Dear Listener.

Sadly, this audiobook presents the next-to-last chronicle of the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, and it is next-to-first in its supply of misery, despair, and unpleasantness. Probably the next-to-last things you would like to hear about are a harpoon gun, two mysterious initials, a notorious villain, and an unsavory curry.

Next-to-last things are the first things to be avoided, and so allow me to recommend that you put this next-to-last audiobook down first, and find something else to listen to next to last, such as the next-to-last audiobook in another chronicle, or a chronicle containing other next-to-last things, so that this next-to last audiobook does not become the last audiobook you will hear.

Lemony Snicket has been chronicling the lives of the Baudelaire children with only occasional breaks for food, rest, and court-appointed sword fights. His hobbies include nervous apprehension, increasing dread, and wondering if his enemies were right after all

Tim Curry has portrayed many memorable characters, most notably the role of the scientist in the Broadway and film versions of The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Arthur in the Broadway production